Karma Chameleon....er, Chipmunk

Lately I've been thinking that I've really done something to piss off the universe. Really gave it a sucker punch and now she's throwing punches left and right. Let's reveiw, shall we?

• I'm taking my landlord to court if she doesn't give me the remaining $350 of my deposit back that she claims she needs for replacing a door lock and for dealing with chipmunks that got into the garage. She's threatening to find me liable for her foundation that is caving in. Huh? No such thing as rational adults working it out here.
• I moved. I took in roommates. I don't want roommates. It's all very claustrophobic but part of the big plan to save $$$ to buy a house. I don't want roommates. I like to walk naked from my bedroom to my bathroom. Can't do that with roommates.
• My computer died again and the backup hard drive apparently only backed up the folders and not the actual files that live in folders. Joy. That iMac can't get here fast enough.
• My boyfriend (yes, I date men everyone) of 3+ years decided he would sleep with another woman for a couple of months until I discovered said situation and completely lost my freaking mind. To stay or not to stay? That is the question. Or perhaps it is, "To punch him in the nuts or not to punch him in the nuts?"
  
• And in an act of middle-age revisits Junior High, my former paddling coach who's team I choose not to paddle with anymore decided to try to publicly humiliate me by a broadcasting an email I wrote to him (telling him to lay off) to people he thought would give a damn. He clearly doesn't know who he's dealing with when it comes to the written word. As my brother Mark out in Colorado says "Don't piss off the python".
  

I've considered rehab. All the famous people do it, why can't I? The problem is, I don't have a chemical addiction. To anything. Maybe Rice Krispie Bars,. I can barely down two beers unless I'm hanging out with my Canadian friends or tearing it up at the Blogger's Ball in SLC. Then it's a competition which I must win.

Today is the day where it's turning around. I hope. While looking out the sliding glass door I noticed a chipmunk tangled up in some erosion mat out back. It was a episode of 6-pack plastic rings chocking cute dolphins and sea turtles, I tell you. The Greenneck (TM) in me had to save that damn chipmunk. I normally don't care for rodents. I've had wars with mice in the house, despise the gray squirrels that raid my bird feeders, and have unsuccessfully battled chipmunks on canoe trips. Way too many food packs have been destroyed by these little bastards. The straw that broke the camel's back was on Moose Lake when that little vermin chewed my favorite hand carved wooden spoon into landscaping material. Chip-n-Dale must die.

But here was this chipmunk struggling in the erosion mat. I had to help. If I didn't, I would die of guilt. I went outside with my gloves and scissors. Grabbed him and covered up his eyes while I cut him out. He was very calm. We had a chat. Okay, I talked, he intently listened. Then, he was on his way. I even threw last night's left over popcorn out there for he and his pals to celebrate his survival. Stupid rodent, I just saw him over in the same place he was tangled up in. I did my good deed. Perhaps my karma will turn for me. I don't know the first thing about Buddhism, but that's how that works, right? Well, it sounds good anyway.

Whine, bitch, moan. That's the news from Lake Wobegon.

Advice

Does anybody have any advice on taking landlords to court? I would like to nail my past landlord to the wall. Or hang her. I've avoided putting stories in type until it's all over. Word can not capture the absurdity of this woman. It might require me to hire a professional to actually put it into words.

Sum Sum Summertime!

Look. I know the blog is sporadic. But here's the deal: It's summer in the north. And when the sun is shining, you just have to take full advantage. And sometimes that means getting the nitty gritty done to soak up a little Vitamin A. It means extra-cirrucular time on the computer is not happening. Winters are long here and that means the summer is packed full of things to do, places to go, people to see.

Selling season is happening.... already. Thanks to the big conglomerates that own The North Face (VF Corp), Mountain Hardware (Colombia), and Colombia itself, little old Megan and her niche brand Isis have got to get out there and fight the good fight earlier than ever since they are gobbling up all the open-to-buy dollars. Well, it's a lot more like begging. I gave up pride a long time ago.

Speaking of pride, I finally waived the white flag with PC. It won. Speaking of winning, guess what I just won on eBay tonight? Yup. You got it. 24 inches of iMac happiness!!! The Toshiba laptop is hanging in there and it will continue to be my lifeline on the road. I can swing both ways, you know? And besides, I can load Windows on my new Mac. Why would I want to? Becuase I can, dammit. Because I can.


I'm also committing to some other writing gigs that I will need to focus on so this writing may slow down a bit on this here blog. But stay tuned. One of these days I can just write and blog, blog and write, and make a fat living like this guy who eats slaw dogs and fishes more than he works. In the meantime, just subscribe in a reader so you can see when I've updated rather than checking in all the time.

Apple Poser

Since I received no cash donations during my last computer (laptop AND desktop) crisises, I am still without the coveted MacBook Pro. I'd even settle for Jeremy's sexy iMac. My desktop is on the fritz again and given the Law of Megan (When it rains, it's Noah's flood) I'm fully expecting my last lifeline, my Toshiba laptop, to follow suit.

I got one step closer to being a Mac user today. I love Steve Jobs. He gave me the Safari Web Browser free for Windows. It is faster that Firefox. And Internet Explorer?? What's that again? The resolution is funny on the screen. Not as crisp-- but I imagine I can tweak my settings. There's some other issues too-- it's not letting me use Blogger in it's entirety and it somehow changed my blogger editing setting. Notice how all my other text lines are at 1.5 spaces? When I initially published this while using Safari, it changed. But that could be Blogger, too. I'm quickly becoming disenchanted with the format. I had to go back to Firefox to accomplish what I needed.

It's fun to be a poser and get a taste of the good Mac life. I can pretend to be a Mac user for just a bit longer. Now... who's got and extra 2K they want to throw my way?

Another Heart Breaker in the Outdoor Biz

Update 07.12.07: check out some video footage HERE.

While listening to messages after landing in Minneapolis the other day, my old Lendal sales manager tells me that Bear Paw was leveled by a tornado. Crap.

Bear Paw was (is) a resort, school, and retail shop on the Wolf River in Wisconsin. It's one of the only whitewater instructional programs in the area and even cooler yet, it's run by women.

First the fires up north in June taking down some outfitters and camps. Now this. I'm worried for July. Here's the feel good part: Laacke & Joys, a major outdoor retailer in the Milwaukee metro has set up a donation site for Bear Paw. Check it out here: http://laackeandjoys.com/upcomingevents.htm

That's why I love the outdoor retailer industry. There's not a lot of room for the cut-throat crap here. My best to Jamee and the Bear Paw crew. There's a ton of folks out there that are ready to help you rebuild. Just say the word.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I have this friend Josh who sings that very song every time the NFL football season starts. He loves the Minnesota Vikings (fool) and gets so excited for the upcoming season. He forced me to listen to the radio show "The Common Man" on KFAN every day when I worked with him. "Common", as the host came to be known, would play they song at the beginning of the show. Like a trained lab rat, I was soon all about Common and would eagerly join in singing the song as if it was Christmas and the snow was falling outside.

The tune popped into my head today while scrubbing 4 large barrels full of lifevests in the sunshine and perfect 70 degree temps here on the edge of Lake Superior. Scrubbing rabbit feces off of the gear we have for our dragon boat program was not exactly how I anticipated spending a sunny Sunday afternoon, but there are worse things in the world-- like a cubicle for an office, or being a dead, decomposed rabbit in our gear shed.

I love summer. I love summer in the north. I also love being around water and boats. After freezing my butt off in Vermont last week, I was glad to feel the sun burn my pasty white legs. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Here are some pics from the day:

Notice the landing strip for a forehead? It's as red as a pomegranate now.

Ready for another season of sweaty paddlers. If there was ever a reason to get your own PFD....

A rare moment: Feet up in the dragon boat.

The News From Arkansas

Thank god it's June. May was a bummer. Yeah, I know...it's been a while. I've been in the nether regions of my brain. I don't want to hear about it but thanks for continuing to check in. Lifeboat John is always good for that.

So here's a little article rather, letter to the editor, to make your head spin. I can't believe evolution doesn't take care of these idiots. (For those of you wearing coke bottle glass for spectacles, double click the image to get a larger version-- this is as big as Blogger will let me get it.) Wow. All I can say is, "wow".